Toddler Calm

On Sunday I attended a workshop looking at coping with toddler tantrums which had been organised by a friend of mine.  The workshop was lead by a company called Toddler Calm which runs a range of courses all aimed at helping parents cope with the challenges that can come with having a toddler in the house.  Truth be told I wasn’t really that sure about the concept but I wanted to support my friend and it’s always nice to share experiences with other mums.

And so, displaying more organisation than I’m usually capable of on a weekend morning, Alby and I rocked up at my mate’s house at 9:30am ready to be educated.

Sadly, overall I think my initial reservations were correct.  The session was meant to provide parents with the tools to cope in trying situations in a way that is respectful to our little angels (even when they appear more like little devils).  However, poor time keeping and the facilitator not keeping to the core topics meant we were all left feeling ill-prepared for when the inevitable arm-flaying, leg-kicking, screaming supermarket fit. That isn’t to say that I didn’t learn anything though and what I found most useful about the day is that it offered the chance to get back to basics. 

A large amount of the discussion focused on thinking about where our children are developmentally, what their brains are and aren’t able to cope with, what their brains are and aren’t able to comprehend.  About putting ourselves in their shoes and trying to see the world through their eyes.  As they transform from babies into proper little people it is easy to think that because they are dressed like mini-adults, they perceive the world in the same way.  They really don’t. 

The core theme to Toddler Calm is CRUCIAL:

Control

Rhythm

Understanding

Communication

Individual

Avoidance

Love

It makes me smile to see the type of language or style you usually associate with the corporate world being applied to parenting and makes me wonder what other cultures would make of people doing parenting workshops.  (By the by, CRUCIAL has been trademarked so no stealing now!)

Putting aside the bizarre corporate take on parenting, the key principle is about making your child a starring role in the story of your life and not just some extra in the background which is something I think we can all agree with.  It’s about making sure they know that the love with have for them is unconditional as whilst we know that from the actions we choose and decisions we make it may not always be obvious to them. And it’s about recognising that our little ones really are a work in progress and they rely on us to give them support and guidance as they work themselves out. 

For those looking for substance over jargon I’d seriously recommend “What Every Parent Needs to Know” by Margot Sunderland.   Her chapter on tantrums will be photocopied and sent to Mark before the week is out!