Emotional wreck

Fifteen months on and I still can’t watch an episode of “One Born Every Minute” or “Call the Midwife” without crying.  It transpires that any emotional strength I once claimed having has been shattered with the arrival of Alby. Anything to do with a new life entering the world and I’ve got tears in my eyes.  

More the fool me I suppose for having “Call the Midwife” on as background entertainment as I do this evenings errands.  One storyline of a baby who died just a day old due to under developed lungs sees me doing the ironing through tear stained eyes.  The next story involving two reclusive sisters, one of whom goes through a horrific labour bring on yet more tears to accompany my stove cleaning, and now my typing is accompanied by an incredibly powerful story of a couple learning to love their baby despite him being born with spina bifida.  (Those not familiar with the show may want to note that it is set in the post-war years where today’s challenges and prejudices really don’t compare.)

When I was pregnant people loved sharing their labour stories with me and I confess I didn’t have the slightest bit of interest in them.  And even now if the story can’t be summed up in five sentences my mind wanders.  When I was pregnant people warned me about sleepless nights, constant feeding and nappy changing and rocking to sleep.  They told me to watch out for hormonal changes, emotional roller coasters and a love that really is unconditional.  Yeah, all that is true but the message I will give my friends as they prepare for motherhood is that it turns you to emotional mush – and not just in the early days.  It doesn’t matter how much your baby grows and becomes a rufty tufty, any story line about motherhood and the start of new life and you will be instantly sent back to the delivery room and the feelings surrounding you the moment your baby is first placed in your hands.