Treading water

This evening Alby fell asleep when I took him out at 6pm to walk Percy.  He woke up grumpy almost the minute we walked through the front door.  Half an hour later he was asleep again – this time in his cot having skipped bathtime for pyjamas, story and lullabies. Since then he has woken three times in the past three hours.

Last night he managed to sleep five hours without waking.  The night before he wouldn’t sleep unless I was lying next to him – which led to me initially plonking him in front of a Mark Knopfler DVD whilst I straightened the kitchen and then waking up fully dressed at 1am realising I had yet to feed Percy, clean my teeth or set my alarm for the morning let alone get into my pyjamas. 

Bed time a la Knopfler

 Suffice to say that we aren’t quite back into the swing of things yet.  I remember chatting to my mum in the kitchen over Christmas about Alby’s decision to move bedtime to 9pm over the festive season.  The discussion went along the lines of going with the flow during the chaos of Christmas but to think about any changes I might want to make to his routine and, once home, ensure that I implement them immediately.  That was the plan and in some ways I’ve carried through spectacularly – despite the regular wakings etc.  But something that really struck me this evening was how much I feel like I’m just treading water at the moment until Mark gets home.

That’s what is taking up all my energy and emotion – excitement, anticipation and preoccupation.  I’m not complaining, there is nothing in the world I would rather spend my time thinking about.  It’s just that it has taken me some time to appreciate what an utter distraction it is.  From festivities to the return to work to the much awaited return of my love, life is a bit up in the air.  And to be totally fair, that’s how it usually is!