I had never intended to go the co-sleeping route. As a child I remember hearing horror stories of babies being rolled on by their parents or wedged between bed and wall. Co-sleeping in my head was only for the adventurous or laissez-faire parent and I didn’t see myself as being either of those.
And then I had Alby. And I would fall asleep with him nursing in my arms, lying on my chest or snuggled up beside me. I would wake startled and scared and amazed that I hadn’t killed him. I would lecture myself about how dangerous it was and how irresponsible, until somebody questioned my concerns and addressed them all and from then on co-sleeping became the norm.
At six months Alby was moved into his own cot. It was a fairly easy transition, albeit an incomplete one. Alby would settle well enough but when he woke around midnight for a feed my body would seize up in the chair whilst I fed him, every muscle aching and screaming out to be back in bed. And so, half conscious, I would carry him back to our room and pass out beside him.
He usually slept by the edge of the bed (me concerned that Mark would roll on him or bash him) until he got to the “rolling over age” and woke us up early one morning screaming on the bedroom floor (big time Mummy and Daddy fail). From then on he would lie between us, me huddled against the edge of the bed with Alby beside me spread eagle with his scratchy mitts reaching out and tickling Mark through the night.
With Mark no longer here to act as a buffer I’m going to have to work harder at keeping Alby in his cot for the whole night. My buffer wall of pillows is proving no obstacle for the little man who can now stand up from sitting. In fact not only has Alby proven to me that pillows can be conquered but he’s also reminded me that they can be moved as I learnt the other day waking up to find him sitting precariously on the very edge of the bed, pillows dropped on the floor as though he had prepared his own crash mat. It’s simply getting too dangerous and I’d never forgive myself if he had an accident because I was too tired to keep him safe.
Half way over the pillow and perfect snoo spot found |
Even if I could keep him away from the edge of the bed, he still moves too much to make a good night time companion. The other day he fell asleep with his head in the middle of the bed whilst his body squirmed around like the minute hand progressing around a clock. Over the course of the night he had gone through every position several times. If the bashes I received are anything to go by it seems babies aren’t given quite the same cocooning and caring co-sleeping instincts as mothers!
And so we move onto our latest co-sleeping technique, one that has taken me quite by surprise and which I’m hoping for the cot’s sake doesn’t become an established thing.
On Sunday Alby went to bed with a fever and remained feverish for three days. Whether from a nursery bug, teething or a combination of both he still isn’t quite back to his normal self and we’ve had a good amount of tears over the past 72 hours. I certainly haven’t been keeping up to my giggle quota. A hot head, sore gums and a quivering bottom lip leads to an Alby in need of comfort. With no dummy and Alby never taking to a comforter, he soothes by snuggling into me. I love that I can relax him, settle him and give him comfort, but once he is asleep and snoring in my arms I want to be able to put him in his cot and get back to my washing up. But Alby hasn’t wanted me away from his side. The minute I stand up he wakes up and after an hour of settling him, standing up, waking him up, settling him…I finally give up and just go to bed.
So on Tuesday night after an hour of putting him down, picking him up, putting him down, picking him up… I tried something new. I got into his cot. And it didn’t break under my weight. It didn’t even creak. And he fell asleep and stayed asleep. Last night, after a busy birthday and disturbed trip from train to car to house, we tried again and I found myself waking up at midnight in his cot!
So far tonight I haven’t had to repeat this as lying in a baby’s cot is quite odd, but if it keeps him safe and stops my body from screaming at me I’ll accept this as just one more reality of life as a Mama.
Thanks be to God you FIT into his little cot. I think it is genius. Can you imagine if someone in MY family has to rely on this method someday? Whatever works, brilliant mama.
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