The saying goes “you don’t know what you have until it’s
gone” well for the past two weeks I’d forgotten that my son was a naturally
happy boy. I had forgotten to take the
time to step back and look at the big picture having lost myself in hundreds of
little bits here, there and everywhere. Well
my house is clean, my baby is smiling and I’ve got a bulldog at my feet. I know, I’m a show off.
The day hasn’t just been smiles and sunshine. To accompany the gale force winds and torrential rain we’ve had this evening it appears that I have lost my favourite bit of film footage of Alby as a baby. The film was taken when Alby was 5 days old, lying on Mark’s legs whilst being subjected to “who’s going to get a kiss? Alby gets a kiss”. The footage was taken the day before Mark went to Kenya for a six week training exercise. It’s not a happy film, in fact I find it very emotional. But it is intimate and gave a window to those surreal first days with Alby; days as parents.
I think it was accidentally deleted when I was trying to
free some space on the memory stick. I
don’t know. What I do know is that it isn’t on the camera or anywhere on the
computer and sadly, unlike computers, camcorders don’t hold a nice little
trashcan from which you can rescue your mistakes.
Can you grieve for a memory?
I don’t know. I can vividly
recollect it, in fact I think it’s imprinted on my brain but I’m still gutted
that tonight, as I organise the footage we have so far I’m gutted that it isn’t
included in the collection.
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