Friday, 21 December 2012

Growing sense of self, growing sense of trouble



This evening as I was running the bath Alby headed out of the bathroom and straight for the stairs. I hadn’t closed the stair gate and so was just a step behind him. Swinging and locking the gate in his face, Alby promptly burst into tears. 
Before you ring social services I would like to mount a defence – albeit a rather feeble and raw one.  The tears weren’t caused by shock, or pain.  Alby saw me coming and at no point did I or the stair gate make contact with him.  Rather these tears were due to him not getting his way.
This isn’t the first time such a dramatic and sudden outburst has happened.  Just this morning I was cried at for removing a pencil from his hand.  The other day when I was rushing to get out of the house I removed Alby from his toys and quickly learnt that such was not what he wanted.
Before Mark starts to panic and puts his name down for correctional school, I would like to highlight that the crying is very short lived (tears usually haven’t had time to form before he is pacified), but clearly Alby’s sense of self is growing.
The books recommend that we respond to tears with understanding.  (It seems that the stiff upper lip of British past is being challenged by a more emotionally sensitive school of parenting which I generally agree with).  No doubt my words are currently falling on uncomprehending ears, but I try to reassure myself with reminders that I’ve stuck to my guns and one day he will understand (he may have a full on tantrum and slam a door in my face, but he’ll understand). 

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