Ever since Alby has been able to sit up getting him dressed and changing his nappy has been an absolute nightmare. The changing table was long ago transformed from a place of calm to a battleground - me armed with a clean nappy and packet of wipes, Alby armed with a twisting body, kicking legs and an arched back. Although now he has added crawling, standing and cruising to his armoury, making me embarrassingly out of my depth.
I have tried pinning him down with my arm or leg, distracting him with toys or the telly, distracting him with food and even offering such treats as my phone or the remote control which he usually isn’t allowed to hold. I’ve tried changing him on the table, on the floor, in public toilets. I’ve tried to master the sitting down nappy change, the standing up nappy change and the on-the-go nappy change. But no matter how skilled or cunning I try to be my little trouble monkey just laughs and squirms away with his nappy dangling at a precarious angle.
I’ve looked in my parenting books for tips and asked other mums for advice. Nothing has helped. It was only when both my mother-in-law and his key worker at nursery told me that he was “the very worst” when it came to having his nappy changed that I finally felt slightly comforted – I thought it was just me being inept.
Finally though there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I have found a solution – and it has been working for a record five days! I have no idea why it works but it seems that counting, loudly, will keep him still long enough to get a clean nappy on him. I count slowly, as though I’m timing myself (which I am). And he is so baffled by his weird mother that he stops. And just lies there.
No doubt I will be waving my white wet wipe flag of surrender in a couple days time, but for the moment armistice descends on our home.
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