Inspiration from others

I have become a total emotional wreck when it comes to other parents and babies these days. I used to watch “There’s one born every minute” as a bit of light entertainment in the evening, whereas now I have to prepare myself for an emotionally heavy show where I feel a personal bond with everyone on the programme.

Today’s show featured a young couple whose baby was born with it’s bowel outside of the body.  He has had two operations already and is living in an incubator surrounded by tubes (obviously) and the mother hasn’t even been able to hold him yet.  They attempted to let her have a cuddle when they moved him from cot to operating theatre but trying to work around the tubes got her in a faff, he started crying and she broke down terrified that she would drop him. 

Last week my colleague at work lost her grandson.  He was three weeks old and had been born with a serious heart defect.  They knew about it before birth and he got the very best of care from day one, but that does make it any less tragic.

Before I had Alby I used to find parents could often be quite patronizing spouting out such comments as “you can’t understand until you’re a mother” or “you don’t know what it’s like”.  I still think such comments are pretty patronizing and try to check myself before I say the same out loud– you don’t have to be a parent to know what love is.  But I also recognise that becoming a mother has caused a fundamental shift in me.  Whether that’s just simply growing up or a hormonal change I have no idea, but within a week of Alby being born I knew that I would do anything for him, that I would give my life for him with a ferocity that I haven’t experienced towards anything else in my life. 

The strength of these parents is phenomenally powerful and awe-inspiring.  I truly hope that I have never taken for granted what a smooth time I had with Alby during those very first days, nor indeed what a smooth time I have with him now.  But on those occasions when I do get flustered I hope that I have the good sense to think about those who really have had a rough ride; that through them I can achieve perspective and stay grounded.