Educating Alby

Educating Alby at the Hawk Conservancy

The two most overused words in the English language, in my humble opinion, are “it’s complicated”.  These two innocent little words get banded about by adults all the time as an excuse not to get things done or not to have to explain themselves.  “It’s complicated” isn’t an answer to anything – it’s a get out of jail card to cover the fact that the individual is either stupid or lazy. 

So deep is my frustration of this term that I make a conscious effort not to use it in any of my conversations, especially those with Alby. 

Let’s not go pretending that this decision has in anyway made life easy for me.  It’s led to some very interesting questions about religion:  “why didn’t God just put everyone in prison [instead of flooding the earth]?”  And some interesting conclusions too: “I’m going to have my birthday party at Stonehenge and share a birthday cake with the God of the Sun.  But the Sun will be too hot so it has to stay in the sky and can’t have a balloon.”  And it hasn’t always had the result I’ve been after.  I’ve recently been talking to Alby about where his food comes from in hope that my vegetarian diet may rub off on him.  He is clearly is father’s son however as he informed me yesterday that “my favourite food is killed pig because I love ham and that’s killed pig.”  For anybody questioning my profession, no I am not a teacher and I think we can all see why.

Alby and mummy head to head (with ice cream - good brain food)

Every now and then however the extra time to tackle any question reaps its rewards.  Like when Alby walks into the kitchen to announce “gravity is a force on the earth that you can’t see that stops us from floating away” (although his Isaac Newton role play with Grandad still needs a bit of work with Alby messing up his line “Eureka! Gravity” and instead pointing at Brooks whilst shouting “Your gravity”.)  Or more simply when he understand the importance of recycling and not wasting food or water, not filling up on junk food or Mark’s favourite, when he chants “you’ve got to tidy as you go” every time we cook together (a lesson I have yet to learn).

Yes sometimes the request of “let’s talk about prison” or “let’s talk about war” can be tiring.  But he listens, he’s interested, he engages and soon we’ll manage to shift his attention onto another topic. 

Not quite genius material just yet!

And then there are those times when regardless of how much time and effort you have put in to explain a topic you get thwacked in the face with the reality that you are dealing with a mind that is still very much a work in progress.  That the brain isn’t complete yet, that the pathways aren’t all developed and that logic doesn’t come into play for another year or so.

It’s these times when I realise that no matter how much time I put aside educating Alby isn’t always a success.  Those days when he tells me that I’m wrong and Everest isn’t actually tall.  Or when he tells me that giants are taller than Everest.  Or that Everest is the second biggest mountain in the world.  Beverst is the tallest.

On other days he’ll tell me all about Lewison Hamilton and Bastian Vettell having a Formally One race (he’s close to the proper answer on these ones) and then goes completely off track with talk of Benson Button and his twin brother Menson Button in their space car that’s faster than a concord because it can go at twenty-one two which is the biggest number.

Ah well, at least educating Alby isn’t complicated.  Ridiculous, frustrating, hilarious and exhausting?  Yes.  But complicated – nah. 

And when Alby starts educating George?  Well, that's when the fun will really begin,