Wednesday, 24 June 2015

Oh hello guilt

Eleven weeks today.  George has been with us for eleven weeks today. I won’t write down the profanities currently swirling around my head over the fact that my littlest fella has been on the planet for almost three whole months now but suffice to say that I’m baffled bewildered at how a whole eleven weeks have passed.

For George, the story so far has been one of sleeping, feeding, changing, little sick ups and being ferried about after his big brother.  Over the past two weeks the awake moments now include actual looking – following his black and white mobile which he seems to enjoy, tracking faces and turning towards noises (or away from them when it all gets too much). And we’ve got the smiles of course, the smiles that started as fleeting twitches of the face in the morning and are now big grins that can be found at all hours of the day. ­­­

Whether he knows it or not the story so far has also included being lied to on a daily basis by his mother.  Throughout the day I will, all too easily, shout out “mummy’s just coming George” or “don’t worry George I’ll be there in just a second” when such is absolutely not true. Based on the introduction I’ve given him so far I doubt if he’ll ever truly understand what honesty, time or time management really are. 
Such dishonest declarations are issued frequently every single day: I shout it in the front of the car when we’re off to collect Alby, when I’m cooking dinner and am desperate not to overcook the food for once, when I’m pulling duvet covers out of the washing machine, when I’m trying (for the love of God) to get Alby to put his shoes on so we can get out the door. 
Each lie is followed soon after with me doing my best headless chicken impression as I run to you clucking “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” but by then the damage is done.  The lie has been told and the feeling of utter abandonment by you is no doubt complete.
Ahh guilt – let’s not go pretending that you’ve been absent the past few years but oh boy do you like to let yourself be known in the early baby days.

Oh and let second time mothers know that hearing your baby cry is just as horrible, heart wrenching, stomach turning a sound as it was the first time round.  Even worse when the crying is caused by something stupid you did – bumping his tiny head as you weren’t paying total and utter attention getting him out of the car, splashing water on him as you do the dishes whilst bouncing up and down as he hangs from you in his sling or forgetting to lay a towel down on the cold changing mat so that when he lies naked on it the coldness startles him, his falling reflex overtakes him and he completely loses it. 

An absence of mummy fail titled blog posts should under no circumstance whatsoever be regarded as an absence of mummy fails around the house.  We’re eleven weeks in and I cried down the phone to the GP surgery after splashing him with my hot drink, have rearranged the bedroom after he rolled out of bed (who knew he’d managed to get enough body control to roll on a soft surface????) and I won’t go into some of the moments we’ve had in the car for fear of incriminating myself.  In summary, perfect mother I am not. But if you’re looking to pass a guilty verdict you’ll find me in the corner waving my white flag of surrender.

To keep things nice and fair it’s worth noting that George isn’t the only one that helps bring up this lovely emotion. When George is crying and Alby is trying to ask me something or tell me something and I just can’t cope with the double noise and end up responding to his speech about how a giant standing on Everest is the biggest thing in the whole wide world with “we just need to be quiet for a moment” said in my most firm voice, I use the following 6 seconds of silence to reacquaint myself with my old pal guilt.  It comes up again when I lose patience with Alby when he insists I take off his left shoe and start again because I did it the wrong way round, this time with the right foot. 

And I won’t even start on how neglected I’ve left poor Percy pooch.  How he hasn’t gone bald yet from lack of love baffles me.

Was I guilty of the same things with Alby when he was a baby?  I have no idea.  There was no other sibling then and for a large part, sad as it was, there was no daddy around either so I wasn’t having to juggle my little one around anyone else other than myself.  I take some comfort in the fact that if it wasn’t daily lies making me feel guilty it would probably have been something 

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