Keeping motivated

If April wasn’t a great month for this blog, May was truly terrible.  Following two weeks away I arrived home late last night filled with not just determination but a comforting pile of motivation to get back into blogging. Truth be told, that same motivation was also eager to see itself succeed in household chores, productivity at work, managing finances and getting back into shape – ahh it’s impressive what the mind dreams up in the small hours of the morning.

Sadly, if not somewhat inevitably, my usual Monday zeal has been undercut somewhat by the fact I only managed to get five hours sleep last night.  As such, my day has been spent in the surreal delusional state where I feel perfectly awake but can’t actually put my mind to anything.  I stare around me at all the jobs that need doing, take each one in, dwell on it for a moment and then move on to staring at the next job.  Last night I imagined myself sitting here writing away filled with the type of writing prowess Shakespeare wouldn’t have been a stranger too.  As it is, I’m zonked.  I got no funny.  I got no drama.  I’ve just got a keyboard and me. 

My boys are as shattered as me. You’d think a long journey last night and running around nursery like a crazy for hours would ensure Trouble Monkey crashed out early tonight, apparently not.  True to his name, trouble came thick and late in the Beebe household this evening with Alby not crashing out until the wrong side of 9:30 when I finally gave up on the cuddles, lullabies, projector, books and bottle and stuck him in his pushchair.  There is nothing like a crying baby to really help you feel like a failure of a parent.  The silver lining of this bad bedtime episode however is that this time I got to go through it with my love love; a trouble shared is a trouble halved. I don’t know how I coped without him.

My motivation hasn’t quite stretched to make this blog post all that I had wanted it to be – a return with a bang accompanied by many a story of the adventures I’ve been getting up to with my boys. However, focusing on the positive, I’ve at least managed to get a post published and considering my blog drought of recent weeks, that’s going to have to be good enough for today.   

With sleepy love from me and my monkey