Daddy time – a helpful bub

With only twelve days until Mark is hopefully back home I can’t help but look back over the photos from when he was last here.  I love this collection of pictures snapped up when Mark was making some adjustments to the radiator cover we have cunningly placed to hide the grotesque 70s style heater hovering on the living room wall.  Eager to prove himself as a man about the house, Alby is at Mark’s side ready to point, prod and taste whatever tools come his way (and even some which don’t).

Without wanting to sound too cliché for my own good, I can already a real difference between the Alby in these photos and the little man I’ve just put to bed.  Obviously the change isn’t monumental, he is in fact wearing those very same pyjamas to bed this evening and they fit him well, but he understands quite a bit more now.  Next time Alby and Mark get down to some DIY around the house Mark will be able to ask Alby to pass him specific tools, he’ll be able to ask Alby to help him tidy up when the job is done and he’ll certainly be able to join Alby in a happy dance in celebration of a job well done.  I won’t pretend Alby will be of any real help but the amount the two of them will be able to interact together will have moved on and with it the enjoyment that they will no doubt getting from working together.  Alby likes to be put to work – he is an excellent floor sweeper, surface wiper and chair washer.  And he enjoys doing these things, something which no doubt will die a death fairly soon but we might as well enjoy it whilst we can.

In my previous life working for one of the countries largest children’s charities I went on a training course looking specifically at participation with children.  It seemed really quite silly and pointless – of course you need to include children in the work that you do, of course they should be involved in decision making and of course they should have a say in their own lives.  Looking back on the course now, the thing I’m most struck by isn’t so much how obviously everything being instructed was but more the fact that participation isn’t something you can learn in theory.  You have to experience it.  You have to spend a whole day looking at everything you do and thinking about how children can get involved too.  It’s easy to fob children off with a toy (or as they get older the television) and sometimes, yes, we need the easy route.  But I find that feeling fulfilment as a parent only really comes when I’ve given Alby the opportunity to help out with what I’m doing. 

And with that in mind, I’m looking forward to Alby and Mark pottering about in the garden together or through the house as they crack on with their Saturday morning chores.  I know Mark will make a great teacher and with Alby I hope he’ll find he’s got a captive and excited audience.