It’s just a dream come true

 Today is the day Bella came home with us. 

With as many years to her name as Smalley, at 54cm in length and weighing in at a whopping 926g Bella is an old, fat bearded dragon. She is also a real character. In one afternoon she’s moved home, snuggled happily on the sofa, been prodded, stroked, weighed and measured and happily clambered around her enclosure. 

She’s also made a little boy’s dream come true. A little boy who has moved his bed so he can lie near her tonight. And who has settled down for the night muttering “I can’t believe I get to keep her. I can’t believe she’s really mine.” 

At 10 years old she’s pretty advanced for a beardie so it’s hard to know quite how this journey will go. But she’s here, she’s active, she’s fascinating and she’s cheered Smalley’s heart. 💚 

Sometimes I wish I didn’t have ADHD

Tonight’s been rough. 

So much of my conversations can focus on how tricky it can be parenting someone with neurodiversity. I get weekly emails from ADHD experts talking about reframing language and building resilience as parents. And, as is so often the way, we are the centres of our own universe and focus in on our experience. 

Tonight, seemingly out of nowhere Smalley said he sometimes wishes he doesn’t have ADHD. That he thinks he’s too different from other people. That it makes it hard for people to understand him. And that he feels his ADHD is getting worse and worse 

There were tears. Lots of them. Some held back, some he allowed to flood forward. 

As a little unit, Smalley, Dad and me, we talked about medications, friendship, achievement and development. We talked about effort, energy and identity. We held each other right, we thanked him for his courage and his honesty. 

Through his diagnosis last August, the move to meds in September, the check ups and discussions with teachers we’ve taken the approach of honesty and openness. But I do worry at times that can be too much for a young  brain. It’s no small thing to differentiate labels from identity and our differences from the differences everyone feels. 

We ended today’s talk comparing ADHD to the scar on Smalley’s arm. It’s part of him, but most people don’t even know it’s there. It shapes him, but doesn’t define him. Sometimes he’ll acknowledge it, but mostly it just lives alongside him. A tiny part of a much bigger more beautiful whole.