Mummy fail #747 parts a, b, and c

Oh yes, today has been so successful on my part that I am the proud accomplish of three mummy fails in one day.  No doubt this isn’t as remarkable as the blog may suggest but for a cheap laugh let’s reflect on the light comedy moments that have framed my day.

Part A

Most Mummy fails take place towards the end of the day, when Alby and I are both that little bit more emotional and exhausted.  Today however I surpassed myself managing to clock my first fail at just 11:16am.

Alby’s rugby first thing on a Saturday morning means that Percy doesn’t get his morning walk until a bit later than usual.  Being one of those beautiful winter days were the air is crisp and the sky bright blue I thought that instead of traipsing the same roads we walk day in, day out I’d take the boys for a change of scenery and treat them to the fun of a walk on the Yorkshire Moors. 

The minute we stepped out the car my plans for a bit of fun bonding time had gone awry.  A shoot was taking place nearby and Percy does not like loud noises.  He jumped, shied, crouched low and tried his best to actually sink his body into the concrete.  And so the walk began with Alby, who’d insisted that he walking, waddling slowly up a steep hill as I dragged, coaxed and pleaded with Percy to get his noble backside into gear.  Somehow we managed to make it up the 100+ steep steps without Percy having a heartache or Alby toppling backwards.  At this point the trail leads you along the edge of the Moors.  There is a deadly drop on the one side and, with no fencing or barrier, I thought I’d be the responsible parent and put Alby in the backcarrier.  Alby did not think this was a good idea and continued to cry and shout for the next fifteen minutes.  

If I were an optimist I would take joy from the fact that at least by now the gun shots had ended and Percy was trotting along happily beside me.  However I’m not an optimist, I’m a realist and family fun time this was not.

Thank god for the planes and gliders heading off overhead.  Not only did they bring fabulous memories back of when I sent my dad into the skies but also distracted Alby brilliantly.  Instead of crying about how unfair the world was to him and what a bully his mother is, he began a 30 minute chant of “Where’s the plane gone? Where’s the plane gone? Where’s the plane gone?...” You’ve got to admire the child’s commitment.

Part B

This is how they should advertise it, not as some small toy

This one was not all my fault. I swear Mark should take some responsibility for this one.  Yes, okay he wasn’t actually here when I bought it but he did see the product first and he thought it was cool and he knew Alby would love it and he told me to buy it. 

And he didn’t ask the about or look into the actual dimensions either.

I’m rambling I know but clearly it is important to me that I get my defence in first.

Good for cars and boats alike

 So, to start at the beginning or there about, in the build up to Alby’s birthday I looked at quite a few toys so that if anybody asked what to buy I could put them in the right direction.  Nobody did ask but my online searches had uncovered this fantastic water play toy which looked brilliant.  I showed it to Mark and he loved it too.  He really did.  And he pointed at other models which he thought would also be good.

They say "no man is an island" - I'm not so sure.

As I say, nobody did get it for Alby but I recently got some extra money for working overtime and thinking that rather than seeing it all disappear into the melting pot of groceries and bills I decided to treat my son. 

And what a treat!  Let’s be clear it is an amazing toy that he played with non stop for an hour today.  There’s dams, gate ways a slide and a water pump all of which push the little boats around.  Even Percy came over to see what the fun was all about and gave an approving sniff.  But here’s the thing…it’s huge.  Having said after his birthday party that he couldn’t have any more toys as we didn’t have the space I’ve gone and purchased a brilliant toy that is almost as big as our dining room table. 

I’m not saying that I thought the internet pictures were actual sized but I didn’t think it would be this big.  Woops.

Shattered Al-bug

Part C.

To complete the hat trick Alby and I went back to an old faithful: falling off the sofa.  Poor little chap.  Having started the day with rugby, then been dragged over the Moors, then back home for water play Alby was completely shattered when he finally passed out on the sofa at 3pm.  Making the most of his unconscious state I booked in a skype date with a favourite and left Alby to his dreams.  Almost an hour later we both heard a thud and I ran around the corner to see him on his back, arms and legs curled up, face bright red and in a silent scream.  He opened his eyes and with it came the sobs.  Poor bugger.