Oooh I love a good castle

I’m a self confessed history nerd.  I just love it.  So when I was looking for somewhere to stop off on our drive South today I was delighted to discover that there was a castle just off the motorway and almost exactly at the half way point for my journey. And so, to Ashby de la Zouch castle!

The castle is just as grand as it sounds – or at least it was if the paintings and recreations are anything to go by.  From modest beginnings as a manor house it was transformed in the 1600s by William, Lord Hastings.  Today it’s a ruin set on a nice plot of land, giving a humble nod to the grand halls and ornate gardens that once occupied the site.

I’m a big fan of English Heritage properties and this one didn’t let me down.  Dog friendly and no fuss, we were allowed to snoop all around the ruins. 

My intrepid exlorers

I chickened out of going up the high tower; it warned of 98 narrow, steep steps and with no handrail in sight, Alby in the front pouch blocking my view of my feet and Percy either ready to bound ahead or pull me down I though I would just admire from afar!  However, no such wimping out was to be had over the underground passage way connecting the tower to what used to the kitchens.  It was brilliant – I had no idea that the dark little cavern I was entering would lead me along an equally dark stone corridor only to resurface 100 yards from where I started. 

It’s a bit of an unusual place – castles are often located off the beaten track on large plots of land.  This castle is located on a small plot, sits next door to the village tennis club and is a five minute walk from the high street. 

Alby bored by my lecture on the evolution of the grounds

For us, it was perfect.  Offering a true quest for my young squire, a bit of history for me and a place for Percy to trot about.

Traces of Mark

Muddy wellies in the hall, freshly laundered shirts, shampoo in the bathroom, bills through the post – every day a little something to remind me of the space Mark usually fills in this house. 

The last time Mark deployed our lives weren’t quite so intrinsically linked and so I’m finding these little husband momentos all over the place a bit surreal.  

I suspect that these early days will be the strangest this time round; life is continuing as it should and his absence hasn’t really begun to be felt.  But, unlike with normal training exercises, there’s an undercurrent to everything that whispers “seven months apart…seven months apart…” like a broken record in my head. 

For his part, little trouble monkey Alby is doing his best to keep Mark’s presence alive in this house.  Over the past two days he has discovered that he has a nose – a fact he is celebrating by sticking his finger into it.   Clearly the apple hasn’t fallen too far from the tree in regard to this particularly charming habit.

No polite pointing of the nose for my son.  Oh no.  He has long used his little index finger to go exploring for him, poking it into the plug hole, my ears, bottle tops, electrical sockets…  This graduation to the nostrils I should have seen coming.  As I should have his response when I say “no Alby, that’s dirty”: a look, a grin and a toss back of the head as he bursts into laughter.  Daddy’s boy indeed.

Showing humility

In my experience, there is nothing like Alby to remind you of what being humble is all about.

Ever since Alby was newborn I have followed the same bed time routine. There's nothing special about it, truth be told it's actually rather boring in how textbook it is: bath, change, story and a feed with Alby falling asleep in my arms before I place him gently in bed and walk away.
In recent months however, coinciding exactly with when Alby learnt that he was so clever that not only could he sit up in his cot but also pull himself up on the railings and have a good bounce about, things have not gone quite so smoothly. 

Whoever said that active babies sleep brilliantly because they knacker themselves out during the day clearly hasn't met Alby.  Now when I lie him down fast asleep he rolls over, sits up, pulls himself up, jumps about and laughs at me.  From a nice simply routine, I now often find myself engaged in an hour of play, cuddles, feeds and lullabies.

Tonight however, my little man went from bath to bed in twenty minutes.  And I walked out of his room like the cat who got the cream, sickening in my smugness.
And rightly so.  Clearly the speedy bedtime is all down to my wonderful parenting skills which show unequivocally what a brilliant mother I am.

Or at least I was for a whole two hours until Alby woke up again and it took me three attempts over half and hour to properly settle him.  So much for me being the super mum!

Don't go thinking this example is unique.  In my pre-baby life I was a terrible one for judging mothers.  For thinking I could do it better.  And for thinking that the baby's reaction and emotions were a direct result of what the parent did or didn't do.  I have no idea why Alby fell asleep so easily tonight when other nights have taken three times as long.  Nor do I know why he struggled to settle afterwards.  And I have no idea how he will sleep tomorrow or the night after.  I'll keep to my role, as patiently as I can. 

For now, I have a sleeping baby upstairs and a sleeping dog besides me.  Bedtime calls....

The start of a new chapter...

Today marks a new point in my life.  At 4pm I said goodbye to my hubby, Mark, who is off on a 7 month tour of Afghanistan with the British Army, and returned home to take on the newly appointed role of single mum to my 11 month old boy, Alby, and bulldog, Percy.

And with this new chapter, I'm taking on the challenge of keeping a blog to record the highs and lows of life on the other side of deployment. 

Let's get one thing straight from the start: I am not claiming to be doing anything heroic.  Alongside me were dozens of other mums, with babes in arms or toddlers running around their feet - some with both.  This blog isn't about self promotion.

Rather, this is a little dare to myself - do I have the discipline, writing style and skill to keep this going for a whole 7 months?  Only time will tell. 
Also, I'm hoping it will help in some way to fill those wonderfully therapeutic conversations Mark and I usually have at the end of the day.  A chance to unload from the day's events, share the key moments and just take some time out for me.
Finally - and probably most importantly, it's about offering a quick and easy way for Mark and my closest family and friends (all of whom live far too far away from me) to see what is going on. 

Saying goodbye to daddy